It has been a few months since we lost Lisa’s dad. We have missed him.
Last weekend we returned to Virginia to celebrate Doug’s
life and for his final interment. It
was great to visit with the family again and Siena enjoyed her time with
Grammie Jane. Grandma Gail and Grandpa
Dan, along with cousin Mikey, also joined us.
With so much family around, having to share the reality of the loss with
Siena made it much more bearable for her.
Stories of angels and heaven are hard for someone so little
to comprehend. But knowing God loves us
and we go to be with him when we die was something she seemed to be okay
with. She seems to believe that we come
back again, but luckily for us she didn’t ask too many questions. She did take inventory of everyone else and
where they were however. I guess death for
Siena is just the same as it is for all of us, it causes us to stop and take
inventory of our lives and those around us and our belief in God and eternal redemption
brings us peace.
There is so much I could write about the military service
and interment and about the Celebration of Life event. But in this case I think simply sharing
pictures from the event and sharing the tributes Lisa and I offered at the
event might offer the best story.
Lisa’s Tribute
Thank you all for coming today to share your love and
support for my Dad and our family. It
means the world to all of us and I’m sure my Dad is sharing this time with us
here today. I wanted to speak about my
Dad and share with you my remembrances and what he meant to me. I feel extremely grateful and blessed to have
had my Dad for 44 years. He was a constant and consistent influence on my life
and always will be. It was a privilege
to share our special “daddy-daughter” bond and later a “father-daughter”
friendship. I feel very blessed to have also been able to share with him and
Jane one of my husband Dave and my greatest accomplishments in life, the
experience of having a child, their first grandchild, Siena.
I always knew, above all else, my Dad loved me and was my
biggest fan. He was extremely devoted to his family and you could always count
on him to listen or go to him for advice and I often did. He always did his very best to make sure we
knew the importance of responsibility and accountability in our lives and to
hold close those values in our everyday lives.
My Dad encouraged me to be the best I could be, to love
and live passionately. He wanted better for all of his children than he had for
himself growing up. Everyone that knew my Dad knew what joy his family brought
to him. We were his biggest pains some days and his biggest pleasure others;
but isn’t that true of all families that love each other. My Dad was an extremely proud man - of his
amazing wife and the family she gave him, his children, his own family, nieces
and nephews, friends and colleagues. He
took great pride in the fact that he had this love around him and he let it be
his center. He taught me loyalty, devotion, compassion and courage and helped
me realize I could do anything I set my mind to and frequently reminded me of
that.
It wasn’t until a few years ago I appreciated all the
great gifts my Dad passed along to me. I had my own child and held her in my
arms, how amazing that felt! I knew she
was my one of my proudest and greatest accomplishments in life. The other was having married my greatest love
and best friend Dave. My Dad felt I had finally found the right person for me
and was proud of the life we had built together. It was then I realized and
truly understood what my Dad had given me. Thank you Dad as I know you are
watching over me still and are forever with me.
I love you always and know that from heaven’s kingdom you are with us
all.
 |
| Drawing Doug did for Lisa |
 |
| Note from Doug to his Mom |
 |
| With Robert |
 |
| Picture Siena drew the day Doug passed away |
Dave’s Thoughts on Dad
Some would say I met Doug in his more ornery years. I like to think of it as having met Doug when
he had a more developed opinion on life.
Whether it was with his family, his North Carolina Tar Heels basketball
or his Hokies Football, he had developed a pretty clear list of things he
liked.
Wisely I opted never to try to influence his thoughts on
life and as such was able to enjoy a relationship where I could look in from
the outside and see him a differently from how others saw him.
I only saw Doug as “Dad”.
Dad was just that to his children.
·
He was the barometer for climate in the
house.
·
The keeper of the rule book for his
children.
·
He has a well-defined point of view on
parenting.
·
He had high expectations for his children.
·
He provided guidance, leadership and
occasionally a little dictatorship.
But through all the years, I knew him as dad. And as “dad” I got to watch how he loved his
children. I have a few special pictures that come to mind when I
think of dad. Since others will no
doubt talk about their relationships with him, I will share a few of dad with
Lisa and Siena that told me a lot about who he was in his heart.
The first was of Lisa as little girl in a cheer-leading
picture. There stands a row of pretty
little girls all similar in nature. As
you scan the row you would just think, “what a nice picture of the cheer-leading
squad.” But if you paused to look just
a little closer you would notice something different about one cheerleader.
One of them had a knee length skirt. Yes that was Lisa. When I first saw it I laughed. 10 years later with a little girl of my own,
I am wondering who he used for a tailor.
Seeing him as dad I can truly connect with his point of view on this one.
As second favorite picture, is one of dad holding Siena
right after she was born. Now he is “grand-dad”;
a new title but the same lens for viewing him.
If you look at the picture, you see a proud grandpa admiring his new
grandchild. Jane is in the background looking
on and smiling. Simply a happy family
picture; but look a little closer and you will see something more. Granddad’s eyes are welling up with tears and
he is about to cry, tears of happiness.
His love for Siena was that big and that joyful. The love in his heart showed through in so
many ways when he was with Siena these past 3 years.
The last picture is one I came across early in my
relationship with Lisa, and to me this one most clearly tells the tale of dad. It is a simple picture of Doug and Lisa
walking along in Holland many years ago.
They both seem to be happy and care free; just a daddy and his daughter
on vacation.
But the true tale was that he was there to support a
daughter who was finding her way in life and needed her daddy. She was far away from home and far away from
him, but when she needed him he was there.
No matter how far away, no matter the problems, when
times were hardest he was there for his daughter. He enjoyed the good times and was always
there in the tough times.
It was in the harder moments when the challenges were
greatest that his love and support meant the most to his daughter.
It was at these times that a dad’s love was his greatest
gift.
In life we can learn so many lessons if we can step back
and see the gifts the people around us have to offer. I learned from Doug and hope I can be as good
a dad to my little girl.
